Female friendship is the lifeblood of the Sex and the City multiverse and has been since the first time we met a curly-haired columnist named Carrie Bradshaw who broke the fourth wall three minutes into the 1998 pilot to tell us that the themes she explores in her work—dating, sex, the lack of unmarried men in millennium-approaching New York City—are strictly sourced via the women she trusts the most: “My friends,” she says.
More than 25 years later, the theme is still the thing in And Just Like That…, the HBO Max SATC continuation that began in 2022 and will premiere its third season on May 29. But it’s also the real-life throughline of the series’ two newest main-cast members: Sarita Choudhury, who plays outspoken, sex-positive, single real estate broker Seema Patel; and Nicole Ari Parker as Lisa Todd Wexley, an impossibly chic Upper East Side documentarian and mother of three. Both are fabulous; both are finely drawn characters who showcase the multitudes that women in their 50s absolutely contain.
When I meet Choudhury and Parker for lunch in New York’s Tribeca neighborhood on a rainy Friday in May, they’d just come from a morning of shooting photos for this very feature, and they were ready to unwind with a glass of wine and a plate of pasta—my people. “We eat,” Choudhury declares.
After ordering, I expect to get right down to business and run through my prepared questions, but I follow their lead and relax into the palpable girl’s-lunch vibe that can only exist between women who share a can’t-fake-it connection. Finishing each other’s sentences, cracking up at the same things, going off on (heartwarming!) tangents, sharing the splash of extra wine the waiter pours, asking me interesting questions. It made me think of my own friends but also wonder if these two had room for any new ones—not a common feeling when interviewing celebrities, I should add.
Turns out, Sarita Choudhury and Nicole Ari Parker are more than unusually simpatico costars—they’ve been real-life best friends for 25 years. (“I think it might be more like 28,” Parker points out, as they mentally run some numbers before landing on, “I mean, it’s been forever.”) They met the way so many young New York actors do: on the audition circuit. NYC-based films, Law and Order, theater, repeat.
“We did a play together and then [1997 ensemble HBO film] Subway Stories, and you know, your life starts, you have lunch together, then you get kicked out of your apartment,” says Choudhury of their meeting. “So next thing you know, I’m her roommate for a little bit. We’d go to Bowery Bar and share a margarita because we could only afford one. Who has an extra $20 for a drink?”
A charming anecdote to be sure, but it’s what happened during the next 25 (or 28) years that makes the twinkly nostalgia of this New York fever dream more than a cute story: Choudhury, 58, and Parker, 54, beat the odds, and both became very successful and very well-known actors, appearing in some of the most culturally relevant projects of our time. These include roles in Boogie Nights, The Hunger Games, Homeland, Remember the Titans, and the TV adaptation of the 1997 ensemble comedy Soul Food, in addition to dozens of other movies and shows that have kept them steadily booked but allowed them to live “normal” lives, something I imagine is a perk for New York–bred actors—your livelihood comes from what you dreamed of doing, but you can also grab a latte without being mobbed.
Being dropped into the Sex and the City orbit, however, has made relative anonymity more anomalous for both actors, as they were approached twice during our quiet lunch, once by a stylish young woman who gushed that Parker was the “most beautiful woman” she’d ever seen, and again by the matriarch of a family dining next to us who quietly said she’s a big fan and can’t wait for the new season.
Does that happen a lot now? I ask.
“I get recognized at Whole Foods or weird places,” Choudhury says. “Not so much at restaurants.”
“I get recognized now more by white people,” Parker deadpans, to which her friend nods.
“White people know my full name…like Choudhury. No one has ever said my last name. I’m so impressed. Young girls from Ohio who moved to the city, that kind of thing, they're like, ‘Sarita Choudhury!’ And I literally want to hug them.”
As we eat, I ask whether they find it refreshing that And Just Like That… highlights the idea that even women in their 50s and beyond don’t have it all figured out. It’s something I appreciated about the first iteration of the show; how Carrie and crew weren’t wide-eyed 20-somethings but well into their 30s, an age bracket that pop culture (and women’s magazines) made us believe was the time where everything falls into place—career, romance, finances, kids, self-acceptance. To see four single women who, at various points during six seasons, had only some, or perhaps none, of those things in place felt important, as does AJLT, which still trades on the idea that “having it all” is a myth—at any age or income bracket.
Both Choudhury and Parker agree there’s something special and singular about that point of view, and say they revel in the fact that the cast is almost entirely made up of women in their 50s. “We’re so lucky with the show because everyone is great,” Choudhury says. “But also, what show do you get to be on with other women around your age all in the same scene? Because usually, with many shows, one woman is one age, one woman is another age.”
After we’ve paid the bill and are enjoying the last dregs of wine and espresso, Parker’s husband, the actor Boris Kodjoe, sidles over to our table. He’s there to pick up his wife, and hellos and introductions and goodbyes and see-you-soons are exchanged before we all go our separate ways. I leave feeling satiated, partially by the pasta but mostly from the 90 minutes spent talking to Sarita Choudhury and Nicole Ari Parker, and their frankness about feeling unsure about joining an already-established franchise, the origins of their friendship, their thoughts on an ever-changing New York City, and more. Below, part of our lunchtime conversation.
Glamour: Season three kicks off with some serious looks for Seema and Lisa. Sarita, Seema’s first shot has her splayed out on a bed in a very slinky gold robe, and Nicole, Lisa’s is a strand of beads that—no joke—were each the size of my head. You can’t take your eyes off this necklace because it’s simultaneously cool and absurd. Any stories here?
Nicole Ari Parker: I love that you asked about that necklace because I shot that scene probably a year ago and now [it’s coming back to me]. The necklace was a perfect example of a [costume designer] Molly Rogers creation. I think it was vintage and I know it was handmade, so it was very fragile. I think she strung them together in a different way and turned it into that magnificent piece.
I feel like that necklace in particular summed up for me everything about Sex and the City’s approach to style. You take something like a basic beaded necklace and it’s dialed up just enough to question whether a woman would actually wear it.
Nicole: And then you go outside in real time in New York City and you see a woman dressed like that on the Upper East Side or Upper West Side.
I know you can’t say much, but what are you both most excited about for season three? Having screened some episodes, I was struck by the balance of humor—I laughed and cringed at Seema's experience with a traditional matchmaker, played by SNL alum Cheri Oteri—and pathos, mainly around Seema’s and Lisa’s very real workplace challenges.
Sarita Choudhury: We do read-throughs before we shoot each episode. And this season, I would sit there and I couldn’t believe it. Not only about how much we laughed, but the moments where we went from laughter to this odd quietness, almost to the point of embarrassment because, even though we know each other and we’ve read the scripts before, it was weird sometimes to have such…
Nicole: …to have such an emotional response to the material.
Sarita: Yes—and just in a read-through! And that’s what I got most excited about in season three— there’s such levity and depth. I’m excited to see how that plays out.
I’m sure you’ve been asked this a thousand times, but I’ve never interviewed you. Did you watch the original series in real time?
Sarita: We didn’t have TV at that time. So no, we never did. And HBO is expensive!
But surely you were aware of its cultural impact, even after the fact?
Sarita: Oh, yeah. I ended up seeing it eventually. I grew up in Italy and I was there for a summer, and I was really sad—just in a period of my life where I was sad. And I was staying in a friend’s apartment and it came on in Italian, and I literally started watching it every night, but in Italian, and got addicted.
Nicole: What’s interesting is that my 20-year-old daughter had no relationship with the first iteration of Sex and the City, [but] she got wind of it [after I was cast]. She stayed up until 4 a.m. watching, then into the next day. She was obsessed. It’s still relevant for a 20-year-old.
So how did you both initially get involved with And Just Like That…?
Sarita: She was in LA, I’m in New York. Everyone is auditioning from whatever city, whatever country. We both auditioned.
Nicole: I was shooting something else. I was in New York at the time, and my agent said, “This is the only window they can see you. They’re casting the role this week.” So I had to go into my dressing room and read on Zoom for everyone. I was so honored to meet the women that are the writers and to be kind of face-to-face with [creator] Michael Patrick. I was like, This is really happening. So I don’t even know how the audition went. All I know is that I closed the laptop and went back to set and did this pilot I was working on. And then my agent called and told me I got it and said, “You know, Sarita just booked this too.’”I was like, Yes!
I know some diehard fans—like myself, I’ll admit—were on the fence about a reboot to begin with, and then to have some new principals added felt both iffy but also, frankly, overdue. What were your feelings about how territorial the fans are?
Sarita: I thought I was going to ruin the show.
What? Why?
Sarita: Because how do you enter a show that you love that already works? How are you going to tiptoe in? Especially when it has a very particular cadence and a particular style. We're not high heel girls. We had to get good at that. It's actually one of the hardest jobs I've ever had. Especially because we play characters that aren’t bothered.
Nicole: What I wasn’t ready for, to answer your question, were the fans. Just the love and the love-to-hate or the love-to-comment. The investment, both positive and negative. I had to learn to be strong enough for that. I’ve never been loved so much and criticized so much in 37 minutes.
I personally don’t feel this way about your characters, but three seasons in, do you both still feel like the new girls at school?
Sarita: When you just said you didn’t feel that way, I had that feeling of, Oh good, because I’m starting to feel more at home. But when Sara Jessica’s reading, even though I know her and I’ve worked with her now for three seasons, there are moments of…
Nicole: …of reverence.
Sarita: Yeah. I’m like, Wait, that’s Carrie, and I’m just listening to her right now.
During the course of your careers, have there been roles that you thought you had on lock and you were disappointed not to get?
Sarita: Oh, a lot. I mean, I remember heartbreak.
Nicole: I had one that was really bad. It was for Aaron Spelling, and I worked so hard on it. I had to fly to LA and read for him, and then they cut people that first day, and it was me and one other person. I don’t even know who got it. All I know is that was maybe the first and only time that I had a Sex and the City–type moment where I turned on the water and just cried. I cried in the bathtub.
Sarita: Oh my God.
Nicole: With my clothes on! I just needed to be submerged for a moment because the reality is I had to get back on a plane, come back to New York, and hit the pavement again.
Sarita: Being in the bathtub is part of our acting career. We’re a bit dramatic inside.
Nicole: But it’s also our job to know what it feels like to be that sad and that something like that happened.
If Sarita and Nicole could go out for a wild night with Seema or Lisa, who would you choose?
Nicole: You have to go out with Seema and Lisa together.
Sarita: That’s an existential question, because it makes us see our characters in 3D. But yes, I agree—together. I mean, you don’t know how comforting it is to have Nicole at this interview. Now I don’t want to do any alone.
Nicole: I would just sit next to [Sarita] and come over and be like, “She can no longer continue,” because I know that part of her face that’s like, “I’m done.”
What’s it like shooting on the streets of New York?
Sarita: Heaven. It feels so normal.
I’m not sure if you’ve seen the discourse, but New York magazine recently ran a cover story about how, basically, throngs of sorority-type postgrads are descending on New York’s West Village neighborhood to live a seemingly generative life created by their favorite social media influencers. It’s all Aperol spritzes and matching workout sets and perfect matcha lattes. It’s become a bit of a punchline. But when I read the piece, I thought about my generation when hoards of young women descended on Manhattan at the turn of the millennium to try to make Sex and the City’s fictionalized portrayal of New York their real life—cosmos, Manolos, Magnolia cupcakes, nightly dinners at the hottest restaurants—which was also kind of a joke at the time. It’s not really that different, is it?
Sarita: I think we’ve all been doing that for generations. We annoyed people. [Nicole and I] sharing a bicycle going down West Village streets that used to be a neighborhood just for people who wrote with ink. So I’m a big believer in letting the new generation live their TikTok dreams to the fullest.
Nicole: And you know why? Because New York City will still win.
Sarita: It’s like the Colosseum.
Nicole: Let the renovations happen, the new people. It’s never going to not be New York.
Sarita: We have to adapt to being shifted and recreating; it’s the nature of the city.
Nicole: But the artists, the writers—people still prevail here. It’s New York.
Writer: Perrie Samotin @perriesamotin
Photographer: Meghan Marin @meghanmarin
Stylist (Sarita): Cailtin Burke @caitlinburkenyc
Stylist (Nicole): Elise Sandvik @elise_sandvik
Hair: Mandy Lyons @mflyons
Makeup (Sarita): Lisa Houghton @lisahoughton
Makeup (Nicole): Vincent Oquendo @vincentoquendo
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
